Maybe Someday
by MegannRosemary
Summary: It began as something physical, from a simple primal attraction. Over time, they became something more to each other. A look back on Regina and Emma's relationship over the years as if it had been physical from the beginning. Swan Queen.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Once Upon a Time or Give Me What You like by Avril Lavigne.**

* * *

_When you turn off the lights  
I get stars in my eyes  
Is this love?  
Maybe someday  
So don't turn on the lights  
I'll give you what you like_

_- Give me What you Like, Avirl Lavigne_

* * *

One

* * *

Emotions only ever got her in trouble.

Not in the kind of trouble she saw on ridiculous TV programs that had weepy women eating ice cream in ridiculous pyjamas with tissues strewn about them.

She chuckled to herself, taking a sip of much needed cider, no, it was the kind of trouble that started a decade long war fueled by vengeance and threw her land under a curse for nearly thirty years.

Something physical, tangible was always easy.

She could have any person she liked in her bed, man or woman, and they would please her exactly how she liked.

That was until the day Emma Swan brought white sparks with her to Storybrooke.

Tiny white sparks of physical attraction that had the irritating tendency to pop up between them when she least expected.

They were a nuisance and a pleasure.

They were something she could control, that she could mold into her own reward.

But they tasted of something more, of soft edges and danger.

* * *

_Please wrap your drunken arms around me  
And I'll let you call me yours tonight  
Cause slightly broken's just what I need  
And if you give me what I want  
Then I'll give you what you like_

* * *

There was only so much one can take. Nearly losing your only child in a collapsed mine shaft was right up there.

After Henry went to bed she paced around the large mansion with long, sharp strides. She walked faster and faster though every empty room, trying to run away from the horrors that her mind willed to life.

She faltered only at the door of his room, peeking through the crack to watch for the rise and fall of his chest.

On her fifth round of the house, she poured herself a glass of cider. Instead of drinking it though, she stared into the dark liquid, seeing only the colour of her son's eyes.

He was alive.

But she wasn't.

She couldn't feel whole anymore.

Everything was slipping from her steadfast grasp, her curse, her son, those pesky white sparks.

A knock at the door startled her, the glass falling from her hand.

It didn't break, it was something at the very least that stayed whole in her life.

She laughed sharply and the sound echoed though the large mansion.

Regina pulled open the door, revealing a foggy night and an Emma swan.

"Emma? What are you doing here?"

She pushed past her, heading for the stairs.

"Stop! Where are you going." She hissed, longing to yell and scream and throw the nearest silver candle stick at her head.

She nearly crashed into the blonde just outside Henry's room.

"He's breathing," Emma sagged against the doorframe, her eyes coming to focus on the brunette.

"Of course he is Miss Swan." She watched as the other woman's gaze dropped inappropriately lower. Irritation replaced her anxious fear.

"I just had to see."

Of course, she had to say something that Regina could understand completely. "You saw, now kindly leave. " Her whisper pierced through the dim grey light of the hall.

Emma fell forward, lips crashing into her own as they stumbled against the opposite wall. Sloppily, she slipped her tongue between her lips.

Regina hummed, she tasted like whisky, sharp, spicy and warm.

So warm in her cold life.

Her hands were hot on her bare skin as Emma tugged her turtleneck from her slacks.

The other woman smiled a broken smile, asking wordlessly to feel whole again.

Regina couldn't deny that she wanted the young woman, that she longed for a human connection this evening. She'd regretted sending Graham away, but now she had a second chance to find something to hold onto.

She dragged the blonde down the hall and pushed her towards the bed.

Emma scurried backwards tugging off her jeans as she went and pulling off her shirt.

Reina for her part stepped out of her slacks, leaving them to pool on the floor. She folded her shirt carefully on the dresser and slid over to Emma.

They fought to take everything, deep kisses and hurried selfish touches.

It wasn't long before they fell into a surprising rhythm together, greedily calling for more until they both came apart.

They drew apart as soon as the violent shudders ceased, turning away from each other to catch their breath.

"He's ok," Emma muttered

"We're ok," Regina agreed, nodding against the pillow.

Emma slid from the bed without another word. She left behind a slightly less broken woman, who managed to slip into a dreamless mere minutes after she left.

* * *

_Please tell me I'm your one and only  
Or lie and say at least tonight  
I've got a brand new cure for lonely  
And if you give me what I want  
Then I'll give you what you like_

* * *

She leaned against the kitchen counter, sipping on a mug of tea. Mint, chamomile and ginger. The herbs soothed her aching throat, and filled her lungs with steam to push away the stinging smoke.

She'd wanted, she'd needed a hug from her son.

Her hands shook as she put down the mug.

She was alone, so alone. And scared, so scared.

She just needed someone to hold her, to tell her she was alright.

Regina wrapped her hands around the warm ceramic, clutching the beverage for dear life. This rapidly cooling tea was all she had in this world.

A single tear made a track down her cheek, through the grey soot. She brushed it away, the dark smudge only growing.

It was just a small fire, a terrifying few seconds while she waited for Emma to come back for her, but that's when she felt she hit rock bottom. It was all slipping away from her. She was alone. She had to adapt or fight or maybe both.

The doorbell rang, startling her out of her reverie. She set the mug down quickly and it tipped over, rolling away on its side and leaving a trail of tea behind it. The regal woman hesitated, glancing between the door and the spill.

In the end hospitality won out and she hurried to open the door.

Emma.

Soot covered jeans and tired eyes.

"How's your ankle?" Were the first and only words out of her mouth.

"Why do you care?" Regina spat out, coating the words with steel barbs to guard her lonely heart.

"Who says I do." Emma returned, though the offhand rejection didn't met her eyes.

Her traitorous heart leapt. Someone cared. She cared without manipulation. She cared despite the roiling anger that blistered every interaction they shared. "Its fine."

Her words were proud, her shoulders squared, but Emma could tell it pained her slightly as she turned and led them upstairs.

Emma stood awkwardly by the bed, bending to remove her boots and toss her coat on the pile after them.

"What are you doing?"

"You know what." Emma shook her head, unsnapping her jeans and tugging off her socks.

"You're filthy." Regina tried. She'd led Emma here, it was what they both wanted, but she hated herself for giving in, for needing so badly.

"So are you." Emma shot back pointedly. She met Regina's eyes as her shirt joined the rest of her clothes, "But you're still beautiful."

It was a lie. It had to be.

It didn't belong here with the heat, the flames, the sparks.

But just for tonight, her lonely heart would take it.

She'd take the words, she'd take the woman.

She removed her own clothes, leaving them in a pile on the floor. They were likely ruined anyways, so what did it matter.

The brunette climbed on the bed, cringing at her sooty skin against clean linens. She beckoned to the blonde, who still stood awkwardly beside the bed. "Come here."

Emma moved in a blur of limbs, her lips crashing into Regina's in a bruising kiss, the skin broke, the metallic taste of blood washing over them both.

It meant she was alive.

She sucked her lower lips into her mouth and released it with a pop, she soothed it with her tongue.

Her nails sunk into Emma's muscled biceps as she clutched her closer, her hands fell to her hips and tugged them together. Her knee landed painfully as she came crashing down on top of her.

It meant she wasn't alone.

The blonde quickly eased to the perfect amount of pressure, sending bursts of pleasure to her swollen centre.

Her breath came in heavy pants, stinging her throat and burning her lungs.

It meant she'd survived.

Emma met her mouth for a searing kiss before beginning to make her way down Regina's quivering body. Her mouth left heated kisses, between her breasts, her stomach, her hips, the inside of her thighs. The skin quickly cooled and she shivered with anticipation, waiting for the next puff of hot air against her skin, the next open mouthed kiss and the next moment when they'd be nothing but an icy mark on her body.

Emma always came back.

She'd come back for her in the fire.

A sob escaped.

She wasn't alone.

Emma's mouth found its final destination as she lifted her leg over her shoulder. Her muffled voice mumbled, "We have to keep your ankle elevated Madam Mayor."

She had no words, only moaned in agreement and urged her closer.

Within a few minutes, Emma's mouth brought her skillfully to a writhing orgasm.

She let her legs fall to the bed, her fingers tangling in Emma's hair to bring her up for a heated meeting of mouths and tongue. It wasn't enough to take the pleasure, she needed to feel Emma's need, to bring her to the same downfall.

Even as she rode the lingering waves of pleasure that curled in her belly, her hand snaked between them, taking Emma over the edge.

She collapsed on top of her, her mouth finding her neck for absent minded kisses.

Only then did she feel satisfied. They were even, they'd helped each other.

The kisses continued and Regina couldn't help but feel truly close to someone, closer than she'd even felt to Graham.

It was a lie of course.

Their true interactions consisting of fierce tension and strong words.

But it was a wonderful lie if that's all this was.

As the rhythm of Regina's breathing slowed, Emma slid from the bed and her clothes were hurriedly tugged on. She grabbed a washcloth from the adjacent bathroom to wash the soot from Regina's face and the smudge from her neck. "Bye."

"Bye." Regina mumbled after her, pulling the heavy duvet closer to preserve the heat left behind.

* * *

_Emotions aren't that hard to borrow_

_When love's the word you never learned_

_And in a room of empty bottles_

_If you don't give me what I want_

_Then you'll get what you deserve_

* * *

Of all the holidays that plagued this world, Valentine's Day was the absolute worst. Cheap flowers, cheaper chocolates and trashy Hallmark cards. Even in the shell of a town she'd created, the putrid pinks and reds of the holiday snuck their way into the lives of the people of Storybrooke.

This year, things were changing, people were finding their_ love. _

It was even more sickening.

She'd marched around under a dark cloud today, every cell in her body screaming at her to cast another curse, to damn Valentine's Day to the deepest of Hells.

Only Henry gave her pause when she peeked in on him to tell him goodnight. He was staring at a gaudy frilly card with such reverence.

The icy anger in her chest melted just a little, a tiny flame of hope springing to life and burning softly.

The darkness that clouded her mind swirled into pale confusion.

Nothing made sense anymore. Things weren't black and white.

She tossed and turned under her cool grey sheets, she could feel herself losing control, at once desperate to do something drastic and on the other hand to just give in to the change and let herself be happy.

She had to pull everyone apart again, Snow, Charming, Emma, Henry. She had to squash the happy endings somehow.

But she was tired. So tired of fighting. Couldn't she be allowed after all this time to spend an evening laughing and talking with her little prince, who had his first romantic feelings. Couldn't she be allowed to enjoy a sexual relationship with an attractive woman and not have to think about politics.

Love, relationships, those were difficult. They had been beaten out of her, torn limb from limb. She didn't know how.

It was so easy to fall back on what she'd always known.

Darkness.

From the darkness came a thud, a snort and a scuffle.

Her heartbeat picked up, sure after all these years that it was her mother coming to slash her way into her life and destroy the pieces she'd managed to stick together. She grabbed an umbrella and padded to the front door, the marble cold on her bare feet.

Emma.

She held up a bottle of champagne, already open, and a single red rose, slightly crushed. "You're a sight for sore eyes, I've had a hell of a night."

"Does it look like I care?" And still, her careful gaze checked the other woman 's body for bruises and her eyes for sadness.

Emma shrugged, taking and sip of champagne before handing over the bottle and the thorn- less stem. "For you Madam Mayor." She stalked into the house, kicking the door shut with her foot. "I'll fill you in tomorrow, but for now, happy freaking valentine's day."

Their lips met, their arms came around each other, Emma's hands fisting in the silk nightgown and Regina sloshing the champagne on her leather jacket.

They stumbled to the study.

It was closest.

The blonde snorted with a disparaging laugh, "Oh look a fire, how freaking romantic."

"Stop. Talking. Now. Or I will toss you out."

Emma's lips pressed together in a thin line, waiting eagerly as the silk nightgown hit the floor, followed shortly by the now empty bottle of champagne.

She walked to the brunette, tracing a finger along the shadows on her arm, along her collar bone. She pressed their lips together in something of a tender kiss.

It frightened them both.

Nails dug in, teeth clacked together in their attempt to taste deeply, to take more than they could.

The two women stumbled back to the plush velvet settee, limbs entwining, hips rocking.

As their bodies cooled, as their breathing returned to normal, as they comfortably sank into the curves of each other's bodies, the silence became overwhelming.

It was a time normally reserved for soft kisses and affectionate words, but those words couldn't find their place in their relationship. It couldn't be filled with passion.

With the passion gone and the tense quiet dragging on them, Emma stood up. "I'll call you tomorrow at nine, it's important."

Clothes in place, she took a final glance at the crushed rose and tiptoed rather loudly out of the house.

Regina dragged herself away from the warm flickering flames, the cozy colours invading the grey and adding to her confusion.

She couldn't feel _cozy_, she shouldn't feel warm.

* * *

_When you turn off the lights  
I get stars in my eyes  
Is this love?  
Maybe someday  
I've got this scene in my head  
I'm not sure how it ends  
Is it love?  
Maybe one day  
So don't turn on the lights  
I'll give you what you like_

* * *

After her dream, the darkness suffocated her, the loneliness squeezed her heart. She could feel everything slipping away.

First the last dregs of her sanity had abandoned her after she'd invited David for dinner. She was just so lonely and desperate, she thought in an attempt to rationalize her behaviour, but she couldn't avoid the fact that hated herself for it. She didn't want it, she knew in her heart that she didn't, but the rot in her soul was far more impulsive.

Then the dream, Emma pushing her against that tree, but all she could feel was sadness not anger. She no longer wished to fight, only wished to sit across the dinner table form her and have Henry chatting between them. That her fight, that her anger was gone, that was perhaps the most terrifying realization of all.

Her life was in pieces, all floating and flying away. She needed to put it back together again and then maybe someday their attraction could turn to something more.

She heard a shuffling at the front door, knowing instinctively that it could only be one person, she padded downstairs without bothering to turn on a light.

"I almost took Henry today... or rather yesterday." She spoke the words with little to no emotion, a simple stating of fact. Her eyes told the whole story, the guilt, the pain, the submission.

"I tried to seduce David today." Regina replied in much the same tone.

It was almost a competition.

Which woman had committed the most horrible act, which woman had sunck the lowest.

Anger dissipated.

They were so angry with themselves, so disgusted with their own crimes that their anger at each other was snuffed out.

For the first time they moved to each other with slow steady movements, mouths meeting and fingers grasping at clothing.

Thy kisses took them upstairs on weak legs. Shaking fingers removed their clothing.

Smooth hands moved across smoother skin, Emma teasing soft breathy moans from Regina's full lips as her hands molded her full breasts, thumbs teasing the sensitive buds. She took her time, pressing open mouthed kisses to moonlit skin, giving Regina the softer edge of pleasure.

She looked up, her eyes full of resignation and apology before her she dipped her head to taste Regina at her core. Her tongue flicked and licked, her nails dug into her hips.

The brunette let her fingers entwine with Emma's, bringing soft edges and tender affection to the sharp, spicy sexual attraction.

She lifted her hips, begging for more. Of everything.

Emma responded eagerly, until the older woman quivered and shook with an orgasm that left them both breathless.

Emma crawled up her body, their lips meeting so that Regina tasted herself. Emma's tongue trust eagerly, demonstrating exactly what she wanted.

Before she could quite feel the tips of her fingers, while her belly still quivered with the aftershocks of pleasure, she fumbled for the blonde. Her knee at first, then with her fingers, at once dipping her head to fill her mouth with pert nipples, sucking and nipping.

Emma's hips lifted from the bed as she rocked against Regina's palm, clenched around her fingers. She came with a cry and feverish plea, though for what neither of them knew.

They lay breathless in each other's arms, imagining in another world, another life that they could simply stay like this all night, perhaps make love in the early morning light before getting Henry ready for school.

In this post coital darkness, smelling of sex and two different types of shampoo, it was so easy to dream.

* * *

When she woke in the early morning light, she was cold and alone. The five minutes before her alarm went off was all the time she needed to make a decision.

Maybe someday her relationship with Emma Swan would turn into love. But today it was nothing but a shallow sexual release encroached on by deep seated anger.

Could she risk everything for selfish pleasure and a mere hope for the future.

No.

That she even entertained such a possibility sealed her fate.

She had to pick up the pieces of her life.

She must be rid of Emma Swan, those white sparks and the dreams that came with it.

Maybe someday.

But not today.

* * *

**A/N: This is a fic written for entirely selfish purposes. I heard the new Avril Lavigne album and immediately thought Swan Queen so I wanted to write a fic to a few of these songs. Pluuuus this gives me the chance to go back and tackle scenes from previous seasons that I wasn't around to write fic for. I loved writing angry season one for Mayor Mills and Sherriff Swan. So anyways thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed**.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own any Part of Once Upon a Time or Falling Fast by by Avril Lavigne. **

* * *

_I hope you know_

_I hope it lasts_

_I'm falling hard, I'm falling fast_

_We can go, no holding back_

_- Falling Fast by Avril Lavigne_

* * *

Two

* * *

Had it really been less than twenty-four hours since she'd been in Emma's arms, foolishly content and deceptively happy. Her dreams that had felt so real had been chased away but her blinded desire to protect the only thing she had left in this world.

Her curse.

But it turned out that she had more than just one solitary reason to be on this earth.

Somehow even with her curse broken, she had more than she thought she'd had twenty four hours ago.

Somehow, somehow after everything she still had Emma.

Somehow Henry was still alive.

The cloud of purple smoke that tingled over her skin, meant that she had magic.

The angry chants washed over her, she also had an angry mob at her door.

Faces were a blur and the shouts were muffled.

She was powerless.

Emma.

There she was, pushing through the crowd.

She had Emma.

She had the two idiots. Somehow.

While they blabbed on about right and wrong, she focused on the steady gaze of her son, and her lover.

She had Emma.

She had Henry.

* * *

_It doesn't matter what we do_

_You make everything seem brighter_

_I never knew I needed you_

_Like a sad song needs a sea of lighters_

* * *

The wind still blows, leaves rustling against the pavement as they hurry along under dark sky. The air is tinged with an ominous dark energy, something that doesn't help her already trembling limbs. Regina pulls her blazer closer, her fingers shaking as they catch hold of the stiff material.

"Wait Regina, wait up," Emma stumbles after her on the way to the courthouse.

"We don't have time to wait." She breathes heavily, tasting electricity in the air, green and sharp.

They crashed through the doors of her office and Emma grabbed her arm, turning her quickly. She spun into her chest, fingers curling around her leather jacket, the material cold beneath her fingers.

"Are you ok?"

"I'm fine."

The blonde only held her tighter, "Regina we're about to go into battle or whatever, I need to know how you really are for our safety as much as your own."

"Of course that's all you care about, yourself." She snapped, but she didn't pull away, she was too appreciative of the way strong arms supported her on weak legs.

Emma shook her head, sadness pooling in her eyes. "How is it that you believe that and you don't believe that I could actually just care how you feel."

"Nobody cares. Past, present, future."

"Damnit Regina, I care." She puffed, "But since I want an answer from you, I'll ask you for my safety and the safety of my parents. How do you feel?"

Her fingernail rasped along the zipper of Emma's jacket, the sound was so raw it made her feel alive."I feel admittedly very drained, but the surge of adrenaline is keeping me on my feet .I'm suddenly starving and after being locked up for so long I'd love to brush my teeth. Happy?"

Emma crashed her lips against Regina's, swiping her tongue across her lower lip and then inside. Her hands came to fist in her hair, before her touch softened and she combed the slightly tangled curls with her fingers, her lips, her tongue moving languidly in their assault.

She rested her forehead against the other woman's, "I'm glad you're alive. We'll get through this and then I'll buy you a burger with the works and you can go home and brush your teeth. Deal?"

"Alright," She pulled away and Emma let her go. In a few steps she was at the safe and is carefully punching in the code.

Emma stands beside her, watching intently, "Just for the record though, you taste amazing. You don't need to brush your teeth. "

"Thank you dear, but that's not very helpful."

"I know, I know. I don't how to deal with serious crap so I make it a joke. " The blonde scuffed her boot against the marble floor, stepping to the side to let Regina swing open the heavy door.

Her face was hidden when she asked, "The kiss was a joke?"

"No!" Her gasp echoed in the large office, "The kiss was because you scared me, and I'm really glad you didn't die."

"My apologies Miss Swan. I'm glad I didn't die either. " She brings out the hat then, and puts it on the table. "Did Henry really ask you to protect me?"

"Yes."

Her voice is deep with sincerity, the single word of affirmation resonating in her bones.

The two idiots interrupt them then, and they're ready to fight, leading the charge.

"Regina you're not dying ok. Don't you even think about it." Emma presses a kiss to her hand and clasps it tightly for a few moments before they follow her parents down the hall.

Emma's calming presence beside her wasn't enough to combat the growing panic as she tried and tried again to make the hat work.

Then she was holding her arm and the sparks that had flown between them for months melted into a molten river that went straight to her heart and down her arms.

She felt the magic sizzle between them, at once setting her on fire and calming her nerves enough to allow her to concentrate.

The hat spun to life.

Then she was falling hitting cold floor.

She was alive, thank god.

Emma.

Emma was gone.

The loss she felt was overwhelming, and it enraged her.

Damn that infuriating woman, how dare she make her care.

How dare she push herself into her life so that she needed her.

She needed Emma.

And such was her nature, she lashed out at the only person there.

How dare she make her care.

* * *

_I'm falling fast_

_I hope this lasts_

_I'm falling hard for you_

_I say "Let's take a chance"_

_Take it while we can_

_I know you feel it too_

* * *

Regina disappears down the street, moving quickly through the cool air. Her cheeks were burning, from the warmth of the diner and from the warmth of Emma's smile. She doesn't look back, she can't let her see her care.

She cared about how Emma saw her, how Archie saw her, how Henry saw her. Did they think she was weak and pathetic? She certainly did, even though it took all of her strength, both physically and emotionally to carefully control her every waking moment.

She cared about how Emma smiled at her. Genuine. Free.

She cared about how her voice softened. Affectionate. Honest.

She cared about Emma.

She couldn't deny the stars in her eyes, that she was falling for the woman. However, this was the woman who would only continue to destroy her, corrupting their relationship with the past when she only wanted to move forward and controlling her son, who she only wanted to love.

She entertained thoughts of walking by the harbour to clear her mind, but her breath was coming in puffs as she sped along, so she stewed over their conversation on the way home.

Her boots treat heavy on the pavement, pounding out her frustrations. She passed by the bakery, a faint yeasty odour reaching her nose when she realised she was more angry at the situation rather than Emma.

Leaves crushed under her boots, dampening her heavy stride. She knew firsthand how easy words could sway a person, how manipulation and circumstance had created the _evil queen_. She couldn't fault Emma for being manipulated in much the same way, for being the product of her parents past, she knew of nothing else.

She rounded the corner, taking in the sight of her dark house. She didn't bother to leave the porch light on anymore, she didn't care enough to put it on for herself . The sinking feeling in her chest wasn't anger, it was disappointment that Emma wasn't strong enough to think for herself. She couldn't fault her for that either, she hadn't been strong enough herself until recently.

She was in too deep, she cared so much for the beautiful blonde and Emma couldn't even care about herself.

Regina slipped into flannel pyjamas she kept deep in a drawer, a reminder of times when she and Henry were happy and they'd spend snowy winter days camped in front of the fire reading together.

She was just boiling the kettle when there was a light knock at the door,

Emma was shuffling and shivering on the porch in only her sweater and holding a napkin covered offering in her hands., " I couldn't help but feel our conversation was left unfinished."

"I'm fine."

She smiled that genuine smile of hers, and mumbled with a woosh of air," Maybe tomorrow we can get together and discuss the whole Henry thing. I'm sure David will be sympathetic to you, he was here while I was gone. He trusts you."

"And you don't agree, you don't trust me?" She shivered from the chilly fall air, wrapping her arms about herself.

Emma slumped, fiddling with he napkin in her hands. Her words came slowly, confusion and sadness pooling in her emerald eyes. "You know what? I don't know anymore. I don't know what's right of wrong. What's up or down. I mean your mother she's totally crazy, one could say she's truly the evil one. You saved us and you're supposed to be the evil queen. And my parents people, they destroyed the giants life, and they're supposed to be good. That's just totally messed up. " She looked every bit a lost little girl when she raised her eyes to meet Regina, "So it's not that I don't agree or that I don't trust you, it's just that I don't know anything anymore. I don't know what to do."

"Don't run." She noticed every look, every slight change in expression and the look in her eyes was one she'd seen before.

"I want to. But I won't. I'm here now." The young woman gripped the doorframe, as if that action alone would anchor her here.

Regina realised too late, that she'd revealed too much, she'd shown how much she cared. She gulped audibly in the quiet night.

Emma smiled that genuine smile and closed the distance between them. She kissed her softly, slowly plying her lips and Regina sighed, relaxing into her arms.

Lips parted, granting access to taste deeply.

They tasted of night and day, sweetness and spice.

It was the first kiss that was truly unselfish, of equal give and take, of mutual comfort and reassurance.

They stood in the hall, wrapped around each other gently exploring and testing the waters of this new tender expression.

When the cold from the open door got to be too much, they pulled apart just enough to close it.

"I squished the cake, " Emma whispered, pulling her close again.

"What?" A hysterical giggle bubbled up and out.

"I brought you cake but I ...uhhh," She opened the napkins to reveal the mess of crumbs and icing

Regina pressed a swift kiss to her frowning lips, "That was very sweet Emma, thank you."

"He said it was your favourite, its got butterscotch chips in it!"

"Mmm, I do love those."

Emma grinned, kissing her cheek and moving back towards the door, "Bye Regina, I'll see you tomorrow and we'll talk properly. "

"You won't stay?" She asked, confusion swimming in her gaze.

"No, I just want to do this right, us right." She gave a little wave before she shut the door behind her, "Enjoy the cake."

A moment of understanding and a plea to stay.

She'd asked for a chance.

A tender kiss and a piece of cake.

She was given her chance.

They were really here, in this place, ready to take a chance and move forward without outside forces of manipulation.

As she drank her tea and scooped up her cake crumbs with a spoon, her mind was no longer filled with thoughts of torment. She slept feely that night, hoping that it would last.

* * *

_I woke up and saw the sun today_

_You came by without a warning_

_You put a smile on my face_

_I want that for every morning_

* * *

She'd been a fool to think it could have lasted, it had barely lasted a day and they were falling back on decades of politics and grudges. It had been weeks before everything was calm again, before things had returned to normal.

Or as far as normal went.

Just when she began to think that they'd missed their chance, Emma surprised her, asking her to meet her by the water.

She marched through the fog. They spoke with words heavy with everything that had come to pass in the past few weeks.

Regina stepped away from the bench realizing that it was too late, they couldn't go back.

"Wait."

She convinced herself that it was a figment of her imagination.

"Wait," Emma called again. "Regina!"

She whirled, slipping on the wet boardwalk. "Are you going to tell me what you're plotting?"

"I can't. I already said too much, please," She pleaded, catching up to her.

" Fine, we have nothing more to say to each other then." She closed her eyes against her lie. She had so much to wanted to say but she picked her words carefully and said, "I'll have no trouble finding out on my own."

"Yes, I know. "

"And you still won't tell me? "

" I can't. I'm trying to please everyone."

"Why?

"I don't know, I guess everyone thinks that that's what I'm supposed to do." She toed the wet boards, tapping on a nail that popped it's head up.

"You don't have to do anything for me, nobody thinks that I'm sure," Her lip curled in a feral growl as she glared back at the town that had once upon a time been her safe haven.

Emma pleaded, her voice cracking with emotion, "Don't you see ? You're the only one I want to please."

Her glare quickly turned to a smirk.

The blonde rolled her eyes, "Not like that... well like that too but that's not the point. I mean I want to be a decent person for you not because I'm a saviour or a daughter or a mother but because I want to."

"Why?"

She shrugged ,"I don't know, for what could have been I guess."

"Alright."

She took a few steps forward, reaching out for her hand but then thinking better of it. "I'm sorry that I wasn't there after your mother...when my mother..." She trailed off, face red with anger.

"I wasn't in the mood for company," Regina shook her head, remembering the darkness that had engulfed her. The pain she'd inflicted on herself had been horrifying, but it had also been wonderful, a fitting way to say goodbye to the woman who had inflicted such pain on her in her youth. She let it out, she said goodbye. "It's alright."

She paled visibly, her skin the colour of the thick fog that surrounded them. "It's not, it was horrible of me. If we were..."

"But we're not."

"Right of course." She took her hand then, her brushing against her wrist. "Regina I'm really sorry for what happened, especially how it happened. "

"We don't need to talk about it. " But she didn't take her hand back, it was their first contact since the violent embrace in Gold's shop.

"Ok." She paused again, clearly not about to let it go. "It's just...I had a foster father and he was a low life good for nothing. I hated him, everyone did. But then he died and I mourned, because once he gave me a Spiderman band-aid when I fell down the front steps. She was your mom Regina, your Spiderman band-aid, and it still hurts like a bitch even though you're so glad they're gone. And it just hurts more because you shouldn't feel glad that someone had freaking died, but you do, you're so so glad that you can sleep well at night and not worry about yelling or breaking glass or..."

She reached forward and cupped her cheek, stopping her, "Thank you Emma." She smiled crookedly, "You do seem to have a interesting way with words."

"Oh... I ...I'll take that as a good thing." And then she angled her head, leaning down, her eyes locked on her own.

"Miss Swan, people could be watching." She whispered, but she already felt her knees going weak at the scent of her shampoo and the sight of faint freckles.

"I checked first." Then she slanted her lips against hers and they sank into a sweet kiss.

Their teeth clacked together in their eagerness and they laughed softly together.

The two women clutched at each other, making up for the past few weeks as their tongues slid against one another.

Long after their kisses slowed, they stood in the circle of each other's arms for some time, taking and giving the comfort they needed.

After Emma picked up the book from the bench, she leaned in for a final soft kiss, "Regina, just so you know, in case I wasn't clear just now. There is nothing between Neal and I."

"I didn't ask." But her gaze landed on the ground beneath her instead of meeting the blonde's.

"You were not asking very loudly." A gloved finger lifted her chin, "There is only one parent of Henry's that I'm interested in." She kissed the tip of her nose and sauntered away with a secretive smirk.

The balance was resorted, peace sang in her heart. Emma's words, her story, her kisses, brought such light to the grey cold day, to her broken heart.

* * *

_What is it I'm feeling?_

_'Cause I can't let it go_

_If seeing is believing_

_Then I already know_

* * *

Clouds came again after that day, the storms never stopped in their assault against her heart, her soul. The most recent whirlwind that brought them here, to a glowing diamond beneath the town.

This was the end. The end of the storms. The end of the light.

They never got their chance, she and Henry.

She and Emma.

Her words had anchored her over the past few days of betrayal and loss, they acted as a promise and a hope that when it as all over that they could try once again to explore this interest. First the betrayal had been crippling when she found out they were going to leave her in this world while they went home. She felt the pieces of her life shattering once more and instinct had her planning to keep her family together. Then, as the players in the game grew in number and her plans changed beyond her control, she was working with the very people she despised and the two people she loved most in this world. It was then that she really began to hope that this would end differently and that she could have that elusive chance.

But she was here, about to die so that Henry could live, he and his other mother.

The way her heart jumped ever time she saw her, the relief when she came back, the sizzling chemistry when they kissed.

Without the cover of anger and sex, there were only two lonely people with a common caring.

It was undeniable how she felt.

In those last moments, she held on to those feelings, wrapped them around her like a blanket. She was never letting go.

Then Emma turned back, "Wait Regina I..."

It was too late, the sharp energy already flowing into her, turning her inside raw.

But she saw it.

She saw it in her eyes, in the slump of her shoulders, the paleness of her skin.

She saw what looked an awful lot like caring in her eyes.

Not just a sizzling chemistry

Caring.

And it was too late.

She would leave this world at peace , knowing her son loved her and Emma, despite all odds, cared for her as she cared for Emma.

She held on to the precious thoughts even after she was left alone.

Knowledge was everything.

She loves me too.

* * *

**A/N: Ahhh I love this song too, I just see the way Regina looks at Emma with the sad little genuine smile. I got to write a very belated bench scene - I'm so excited! Thanks for reading :) **

**P.S. I'll do two more songs after this :) **


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